Tessie Lim Inc

The Best is Yet to Come

2011-10-03T00:13:00.000-07:00

If I had to coach-mentor a leader of men what would I say? If leadership is about realizing a vision and making dreams actual, how would I live? Self-actualization is about living your fullest potential. So how then could I be a self-actualizing leader?
My job would be enabling and empowering all around me to be their highest and best while achieving their dream!

An observer commented about one of his peers. He said, "Your style of leadership is directional. You tell. You leave no space for creativity and personal potential. And if people should disagree, then what?"

I was taken aback. If that wasn't judgmental, what was? It seemed to me the accuser was guilty of the same!

That encounter made me think. What exactly is my leadership style - am I also directional?
Am I consultative? Or would others see me as weak --- wishy - washy. Directionless!
Worse still and heaven forbid, selfish. Was I all about ME???

So I read a "Crash Course" on LEADERSHIP by Walk The Talk, a favorite website of mine.
I learned:

The 10 most important words:
“What can I do to help you be more successful?”

The 9 most important words:
“I need you to do this, and here’s why…”

The 8 most important words:
“That’s my mistake and I will fix it.”

The 7 most important words:
“My door is always open to you.”

The 6 most important words:
“Let’s focus on solving the problem.”

The 5 most important words:
“You did a great job!”

The 4 most important words:
“What do YOU think?”

The 3 most important words:
“Follow my lead.”

The 2 most important words:
“Thank You.”

The MOST important word:
“YOU”

And so as I step back from myself and know that if my intention is all about being my best and living my highest potential, there's a dance I must do. Before I become an expert dancer, there are steps and stages, attitudes and beliefs I need to change, levels of fitness I must groom within my mind-body-emotion, that will allow me to be all that I want to be:
Flexible / Graceful / Strong / before I get to live from that Inspired platform.

Hey! I wanted to talk about leadership and I've ended up talking about myself. Odd? Not really.
For no one can really inspire leadership if one cannot lead themselves.
For who would follow anyone un-inspiring? Who would give up time for anything weaker than themselves?

Some guys have all the luck

2011-10-02T18:40:00.000-07:00

Ever felt passed over? Like God looked and disapproved, everything about life is going so badly? Try as hard as you might, but nothing seems to be going according to plan.

At first, you're cool. It's fine. Things'll get better, you think. The Universe has a plan. Two months down the track and you're still struggling with the same stuff, only now you're worn down and your head feels like it's about to burst. You're wearing your heart around your knees at the minute and think, "heck, what the hell's wrong with me?" Only there's nothing wrong with you, it's the rest of the world.

Define "going so badly?" Well, stuff happening that doesn't fit with my self-image. I'm not Mother Teresa you know. Church says, love thy neighbor. Forgive thine enemy. Heck, that's difficult stuff. After all, I'm spirit trapped in this body so that I can experience thought as feeling and for that I've been given the physical form. Not easy Papa. (I'm looking heavenward) Can barely understand, let alone do.

Where is the guilt coming from? Who's doing the actual punishing? I'm looking around and going, How come the guys that don't have conscience are getting away with murder? Sociopaths all. They're having fun. So unfair. Steal from me. Lie to me. Bad-mouth me. Use me. And get off scott free.

If I were operating from a higher consciousness, what would I be doing/thinking? I'm thinking --- how can I be less affected by all this shit? People will be people. Crooks will do what crooks do. Is it my job to change them? Couldn't if I tried.

What then? Organize myself so I don't stress with nonsense. Allow. Let people be. Let them be who they are; express themselves in the way they best know how - even if its not like me. Go back to the place where I know all things are just. Go back to Source where all things are one.
Cease the separation of good v bad, the duality of right and wrong, light and dark, pure and corrupt.

For what is not of God is an illusion. What is not of God is unreal. So I will adjust my thoughts so that I can experience the right kind of emotion --- The definition of emotion is: thought attached to a feeling. Yes, that's what I'll do. That's what I'll work on from now on.

Madness in the Money Markets

2011-09-04T17:20:00.000-07:00

Some people are cut out to be employed. Stability is their pace-maker.
Others need independence ~ in being their own boss, managing their own time. Independence is their adrenaline. Freedom and flexibility keeps their heart pumping; keeps them feeling alive.

Some people can manage life, living paycheck to paycheck. Others want more ~ more challenge, more variety, more experience, more choice. It's like a journey of self-discovery; seeing how far you can go, and how much you need to take you there.

It's more difficult for a wage earner to be wealthy. We're talking high net worth. Unless one owns stock options, has the ear of the boss, and access to the corporate jet, life would be pretty well laid out for the professional man. One needs to be an entrepreneur, investor, and risk-taker of a higher order if one wishes to live among the top 5% of society's rich and famous. Or you could marry into there.

Today the financial markets are volatile to say the least. Fear and uncertainty have wreaked havoc. The US rating downgrade, the Debt Ceiling issue, the European financial crisis have all contributed to the chaos. So how? What to do with your money? How to make some ~ at a time like this?

How to maintain calm and logic; that's how the experts say to remain in control of your (life) finances. Preserving financial independence is the objective. Too many people have "caved" and fallen victims to stress, depression, worthlessness and self-loathing because of the mistakes made. Have you suffered any of these?

In the midst of financial chaos, what factors remain certain? What can we count on? Despite the dim economic outlook, Asia and the emerging markets will lead growth and recovery.

As long as investors put their money behind companies that sell goods and services that have strong brand positioning they need not fear.

As long as investors put their money behind EU and US cos that are selling goods and services with strong branding in Asia and the emerging markets, they need not fear.

To reduce risk, investors must learn to hedge should markets drop. Here are some strategies:
(a) Buy safe haven currencies
(b) Buy precious metals
(c) Buy top quality defensive sector companies that are plugged into Asia and the emerging
markets. Essential services such as food, healthcare, and natural resources.
(d) Buy bonds - physical or ETFs
(e) Buy into the Chicago Board of Trade Volatility Index (VIX)

Why am I mad about money? No money no talk. No money no best life.

International Neuro-Semantics Conference in Grand Junction

2011-08-29T17:56:00.001-07:00

Traveling to Grand Junction Colorado USA was an experience. Firstly we are in the throes of post 911 paranoia where security is so tight they want to squeeze you out of everything including your shoes. Then one has to remember Colorado is the mile high state because its capital Denver sits a mile high above sea level. Colorado is also tornado country. Arriving at Denver airport, I noticed their tornado shelters were also the men's and ladies' rooms!

By the time I arrived Grand Junction Country Inns, I had flown through Singapore, London, Denver, and then some. Luckily the conference delegates were warm, cool, and hot ~ this all rolled into one! *How fascinating!*

Wonderful weather. Lovely people and stimulating learning. *How fantastic!*
Looking forward to the next Int'l NS Conference ~ this time hosted by Kuala Lumpur in 2013.
So time to plan your holiday. Get ready to enjoy Malaysian hospitality ~ fine food, great adventure, and the best coach training in the world.

See pictures of Grand Junction ~ my first glimpse from inside the airport. Country Inns Conference Center. My presentation titled: Book Yourself Solid.

Going Home for the Holidays

2011-08-21T21:35:00.001-07:00

It'll be Eid - Mubarak or Hari Raya Aidil Fitri for Muslims all over the world. It's one month of Shawal, 1 month of celebration after Ramadhan - 1 month of fasting.
What does this festival mean?
Firstly it means reuniting with spirit, after "going within" to search and connect with those who are less fortunate than ourselves. It means realizing our fallibility and forgiving those who have hurt us, as we have hurt others --- through our mindlessness. It means "going without" the things we want in honor of the things we have.

It is a time for reuniting --- with family, honoring our elders, and returning to the place from where we originated. That place is love. That place is a place of peace. Because we are spirit and spirit is about love. Spirit is about peace.

Within each one of us is that tranquil place. In the midst of chaos do you know where to go for peace and love and calm?

7-up, Coke, and Sprite will work to have you believe Raya is about quenching your thirst on your journey to there. Kentucky Fried Chicken and McDonald's will certainly have a go at pushing their finger licking goodness. But "Raya" (celebrate) is not about food and drink or money or stuff at all.

Raya is about finding oneself. It's about going home --- to Self. It's about prioritizing. Distinguishing what's truly important from what's worldly and superficial. Raya is about actualizing --- Self.

Who are you? What are you made of?
Do you know where you're going to? Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Where are you going to? Do you know?

To Inspire Courage Confidence and Freedom

2011-08-14T07:25:00.000-07:00

What is the vision? The vision is to reach as many people as possible.
The vision is so that people everywhere have access to this human technology that allows them to live their best life. Yes, it is our singular purpose in this life to be happy. Yes, that technology is available. And yes, we all can be happy as long as we choose to. Just as soon as we know how to access that state. Or gestalt of states that = happy ;-)

What is the mission? To inspire courage, confidence, freedom.
Courage as opposed to fear. Fear as opposed to lack of love.
Confidence as opposed to playing small, staying weak, apathetic. Confidence for stepping out as we are. Just the way we are.
Freedom from what? Freedom from our upbringing, our conditioning, our past, our limitations. Freedom to choose the life we want. Freedom to sing our song. Our song.

The goal, the objective, is to go among the masses. The work is to bring the message to everyone --- men, women, children and everyone in between. Just as fear does not discriminate, love must not discriminate. The challenge is to give love unconditionally. The job is to include and embrace and distribute.

When? As soon as possible. We are faced with unprecedented economic chaos. This has upset the family dynamic where men who have been breadwinners are now facing psychic, not just emotional and financial upset --- because their ability to provide and protect is challenged. So family systems are being overturned. Families are suffering loss, grief, separation --- from Self --- when needs are not sufficiently met.

Apart from financial struggle, emotional and psychic disturbance, relational upset, our world is under attack from the flagging ethical and moral fiber that threatens to break up social structure, law and order, and on a larger scale, the health of the human spirit. In this case, fear spreads. Fear is the opposite of love. Fear is the result of the separation from Self.

There is much work to do. For this work we need all hands on board. Women and children, pick up your tools. Even if this is the warmth of your embrace, the calmness in your voice, and the softness of your bosom.

What work exactly? Go out into the cities and towns and make every soul feel like they are important, make them feel like they belong.

This is the work. This is the calling. This is our purpose.
Beyond this, nothing matters.

Proud to be Malaysian

2011-08-13T18:21:00.000-07:00

When S&P downgraded the US from AAA to AA, Moody’s defended the US’ triple-A status. Fascinating. I think this presents Malaysia with a unique opportunity to lead. I think it’s time for Asia and the emerging markets to combine forces and expertise to create our own neutral rating agency.

America didn’t confront their problems sooner and now the gap seems too wide for any single president to fix. Europe is stressed and in disarray. Do we want to wait for crisis levels before we act? Why not start now to increase domestic – led consumption and exports to Asia, the emerging, and frontier markets. Buy Malaysian. Promote Malaysian – made. Act now.

Let’s you and I stand up for our economy. Let’s champion Brand Malaysia.

Let’s collaborate with China, India, Africa, and our Latin American friends. Let’s form joint venture alliances to scour the planet for products and services that these huge consumer nations seek and desire. When companies see demand surging for Malaysian – made goods and services will they be inspired to produce more, and produce quality. Everybody wins.

Under the US Dodd – Frank law that was proposed on 2 Dec 2009, there’s the Volcker rule. By this rule, depository banks are prohibited from proprietary trading, meaning they can’t trade with their own funds, only with clients’ money.

Banks forced to curb trading means money looking for new places to go… This gives Malaysia a brilliant opportunity to attract global funds. It’s time for us to modernize our trading systems. We’re well – poised as one of the world’s foremost Islamic Banking centers.

“In the near future I envisage that the Yuan will become the safe haven currency of Asia. Later, the Yuan together with other emerging market currencies such as the Brazilian Rial, Russian Ruble, Indian Rupee, and South African Rand will be in one big gold – backed basket,” predicts Ashwin M Binwani Wealth Strategist at Peak Prosperity Consulting Hong Kong Ltd.

(That means Americans can’t simply print money; create Quantitative Easing 2 and 3 without backing it with a measure of gold!)

Malaysia is in a sweet spot as our Ringgit is the proxy currency for the Chinese Yuan. In fact when the Yuan appreciates, all Asian currencies follow suit.

The entire matrix of business and finance has shifted to the East. It’s time for Malaysians to develop more courage and confidence. Why not use this time to perfect our systems and take measures to decouple from the West. For this to happen our financial and political groundwork must be honed and refined.

Malaysia has a lot going for itself. At this point the stakes are high and primarily we’ve got 2 choices. We can work to do ourselves proud. Or we can let ourselves down. I say we stand for unity. Think National Pride.

I say peace will secure prosperity.

Asia in Full Throttle

2011-08-13T18:15:00.000-07:00

China is currently holding more than US$ 800 billion of US treasuries. If a ratings downgrade takes place, China and other investors would be tempted to sell their USD bond holdings. Should the US dollar collapse, the market would probably hedge by buying metals such as gold and silver, and invest in Asian and emerging market currencies like Singapore dollar, Malaysian Ringgit, Korean Won, Thai Baht, Indonesian Rupiah, Chinese Yuan, Australian dollar, and Brazilian Rial.

Between 31 Jan – 8 July 2011 the Indonesian Rupiah climbed by about 6.15% against the USD. Between 15 Mar – 8 July 2011, the Singapore dollar climbed 5.3% against the USD. Since the Thai election on Jul 3, the Thai Baht has climbed about 2.5% against the USD. Between 2 Feb – 8 Jul 2011, our Ringgit climbed 3.1% against the USD.

On Fri 8 Jul the Bloomberg – JP Morgan Asia Dollar Index rose to a 14-year high. In the 5 days leading to July 8, global funds pumped more than USD 1.9 billion into South Korean, Thai and Indonesian equities, Exchange data has showed. The increase in demand for Asian and emerging market equities has increased the demand for its currencies.

Moral of the story: Any exporter wanting to succeed must redesign and realign its market strategy to suit Asia and the emerging markets.

Trust Yourself - We are perfect as we are

2011-08-09T00:43:00.000-07:00

The Tao Te Ching: To achieve greatness we need do nothing. We are perfect as we are.
We are as God made us, and God doesn't make mistakes.
We are made perfectly for the tasks we are to perform on this Earth and that is to love God with all our heart, all our mind, all our strength. Not for God's sake, but for our own.

The Tao Te Ching: Think Small. Stay low.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Stay low --- like the ocean --- where all great rivers must flow into you.
Jesus spoke 500 years later. He said, "The meek shall inherit the Earth."

Lao Tzu, or "old man," regarded as the most learned man on the planet, wrote this 500 years B.C. His contemporaries were other self-realized beings like Buddha, Confusius in the East and Plato, Socrates, Euripedes in the West.

King Solomon of the Old Testament does not refute this. In fact, in his writings, King Solomon celebrates love of self and love of other. Pages are dedicated to this through his verse.

Jesus quotes Lao Tzu almost word for word in His sermons on the mount. The Tao Te Ching is the 2nd - most translated book in the world after the Bible.

"A Course in Miracles" --- another spiritual text says, "At the last judgment, God will tell us how He really feels about us, and finally... we will know how magnificent we are..."

Break Away Break Through Break Free

2011-07-30T21:21:00.000-07:00

Being a leader is not easy.
Some people get to lead because they've lobbied over time for a title or a position. Some people get there because they have a skill, they've served many years, or they own the company. But this doesn't make them a good leader.

Many confuse managing with leading.
"If I follow a system or a process, I'm a leader. If things don't change, it things don't go wrong, I'll be okay. Just make sure people in my team don't give trouble. Keep everything safe and my position will be secure."

They think, "I'm the leader so you'd better listen to what I say. Or else!" They spare no time thinking --- What type of person must I be so that others will have confidence in me, respect me? What kind of behavior must I demonstrate so that I will inspire confidence, camaraderie, cohesion?

So off they go, banging around. They go about - unaware of how they leave a wake of confusion, often fear behind them.

How does a (real) leader handle conflict? Do they ignore it and hope it will go away? What's the job of a leader anyway? What's the ultimate desired outcome? How many actually think about what results they must produce (other than fame, popularity, further promotion and other "tribal" attractions)

One of the fundamental roles of a leader is to turn a group into a team... a collection of individuals, into a top - performing whole made up of one unit. Cohesion. What skill is required for this?

I'm guessing the 1st thing is to get off the fact that leadership is about the leader. It's got to be about the people one is leading.

Not a popular thing to do, but a leader must hold people accountable. A leader must hold the vision and keep the integrity up, giving just enough wiggle room for creativity but not enough that people go all "individual." After all, people need guidance. We need feedback. We need to be told, "Hey, you're doing great," or, "Listen, if you need to get that done quicker, how could you do it?" Leaving people alone to fix themselves is a no-no. Take that up a notch and you'll notice how great leaders confront what's not right. They don't allow disagreements or conflicts among team members to fester. They will never tolerate lowered productivity because of lack of courage to assert their values and principles about how things should be run --- for the good of everybody.

Good leaders do not practice favoritism or cronyism. Friendship is different and it does not get in the way.

If you recognize yourself in any of these situations, what will you do to bring improvement to them? How could you meta-state a negative emotion or concept or belief so that a more positive outcome could occur?

For example, disagreements could be meta-stated with respect, tolerance and understanding, patience etc. Meditate on peace and progress. The insights would be invaluable. Then share your thoughts with your team.

Women Grow Up - We need all hands on Board.

2011-07-24T23:37:00.001-07:00

Woman... No I'm generalizing.
Housewife... Are you tired of being treated as if you were dumb and ditzy?
You feel people (even family) don't trust you with stuff --- like renewing insurance policies, proof-reading contracts (even though you have an MBA), redemption of frequent flyer miles, or credit card points.

Ever wonder why there's so much friction, disagreement, conflict, and confusion in your life, in your home, even over little things? Do you sense that even people close to you question your capability or resourcefulness? Do they believe you're a safe pair of hands?

They might see you as a great "cheerleader" --- good at shouting out "Woo Hoo!" or cleaning up the poop at home. But somehow that's where it ends. For "real" work, people always go (husband especially) to someone they perceive as more reliable, more dependable, more effective. And less emotional! Can you blame them?

I know I'm a woman and I should be sticking up for us girls. Actually I am. I'm asking us to cut the BS and grow up. I'm asking us to stop blaming others for what we don't have. I'm asking us to remember who we are, take our power back, and save ourselves. We're meant to be queens not slaves.

Harsh? Perhaps. But girls, we gotta get real. We must work to stay relevant. Especially us past 40. Often we're the ones who don't understand new technology - cyber rules, the new workplace. Our men need a new brand of woman.

I was signing up at the reception table of a big party last weekend and the ladies at the counter were whispering to each other. They were gossiping. You could tell. I handed in my ticket, gave them my money, signed my name in the book and walked into the ballroom. 5 minutes later one of the ushers summoned me back out to the reception table and asked me for my name and money. She did so in the most unfriendly manner possible.
Reception = Welcome. Happy you came. I'm here to help. To receive you.
Right? Apparently not.

Question: Why are women often perceived as "less than?" The weaker sex? Ouch, for someone working to support women's development, that incident hurt me deeply. Who's standing in the way of that lady's happiness? She, herself of course.

Not long ago I met a woman who proudly told me she knew nothing about her family's property and her husband's business. "I'm a lady of leisure," she announced.

Happy for you, I thought. So what you do and your husband talk about apart from the children and the maids? How well do you think you're supporting his needs? Sure you may be one of those "obedient wives" - a whore in bed, a whizz in the kitchen, and a self - sacrificing mother, but what about a partner and companion to a man who could be so pregnant with possibility that all he needs is the right woman to help him give birth to amazing, magnificent innovations that could change the world?

I met her husband. The man couldn't have looked more bored beside her.

Girls, wake up. We have work to do. Our purpose is to save the planet. We are here to raise a new generation of humans --- the kind that is more gentle more kind more loving. Women, wake up from being little girls. We need all hands on board.

Simply Genius

2011-03-13T22:58:00.000-07:00

I skip off to the hospital to meet Prof Hock Lim Tan, Distinguished Professor MBBS MD FRACS FRCS. We were going to film him in the OT performing "keyhole" surgery to remove a child's ovaries and a kidney.

I'm excited! And slightly worried. OTs and I don't get on that well. All that bloody red stuff, you know. Here's hoping I behave.

The crew and I arrive. I can't help thinking I'm slightly overdressed for the part. Everyone else is wearing a frown and hunched either in pain or worry. We are taken upstairs and shown the changing rooms. "Get out of your togs and into scrubs. Here's a cap and face mask while you're at it."

Ok. My turn to wear the frown. It disappears the moment the Prof swings into the lobby. He pulls down his mask and says, "See you in the OT in a few minutes."

Lights. Camera. Action.
There are about a dozen people in there. The patient has a camera stuck down her belly button and the images come up on 3 screens. I can see the child's abdominal cavity ~ the Professor points out the reproductive organs ~ fallopian tubes, ovaries, womb. I can see blood vessels throbbing. Biology come to life. Amazing!

Suddenly the room goes green. My crew and I look at each other. I ask Prof and he says the green light supports vision and helps the medical team see better. Like a war zone, he explains.

The surgeons puncture several little holes for their equipment to be inserted.
Professor singles out the section of the ovary where the incision is to be made and clamps it with his left hand, while with his right, he uses a laser cutter to detach the ovary. 3 snips and it's done.
Hmmm. So these guys are ambidextrous.

All that while talking his team through the procedure. There's the 2nd surgeon on standby to do the other ovary, there's the anaesthetist, there are observers (student doctors I think) from Thailand and Indonesia and about 3-4 nurses. Prof's MO is there too. Pint high but deep voice. Wise. Authoritative. Immediately I warmed to her.

As he hands over to his assistant to take over, Prof says this is one of his easier cases. Laparoscopic surgery is now being done for many other complicated things like open heart surgery, duodenal atresia, and pancreatectomy.

Leaving the OT, I felt a combination of emotion. Firstly relieved for being fit and healthy, then immensely lucky for having been invited to witness innovation in medical science, and grateful for being able to tell my story.

I'll be posting my video of this amazing op on my website soon. So watch this space!

I'm not in sales!

2011-02-24T19:45:00.001-08:00

Met a senior lawyer awhile ago who absolutely balked at the idea that he had to promote himself to get clients. "If we're good, people would just show up," he said. "Ugh. To think I'd have to pitch myself against the competition. How vile and common is that!"

That's fine if one is retiring age and has a string of wins under one's belt. Not to mention being senior partner at one of the most reputable law firms in town.

What if you were just starting out and more focused on honing your skills in your trade rather than on making yourself stand out for what you were good at? How then would people begin to know what you were capable of?

Many professionals I know resolutely refuse to "sell" themselves. They continue to pick up certificate after certificate, put in hundreds of hours of study, but not to reach out and extend themselves to their "public." Why? Pride, maybe. "I don't do sales. I'm not in marketing. You mean I have to make cold calls ~ be like a car salesman?" they snap as they turn up their nose in judgment and disgust.

Or what, I ask. Remain the best kept secret in town, confusing humility with poverty? They choose to wear their "un-success" like a badge of honor, and all the while, failing to shine bright in their skill and talent. By so doing, depriving so many of their magic.

That's real selfishness, I think. That's confusing humility with ego; because the ego-mind thinks they must keep themselves small and insignificant and not put themselves up and out there in the fore-front of people's minds ~ because that would be calling too much attention to themselves.

It's the perfect excuse to take the easy way out I say. I say that's the best "cop out" strategy. Say nothing, do nothing, be nothing. Go easy. Go safe. Go hide.

For who are we to shine, we think? There must be others more magnificent that ourselves? And so we go, withholding our magic, when we could be sprinkling our "fairy dust" over people and spreading joy, wonder, and love.

How are you holding yourself back today? Why not decide to go out there and shine? Why not choose to live your miracle and demonstrate your magic?

When you're bullied, harrassed, and treated as second class

2011-02-24T19:43:00.000-08:00

"I think this letter should be simplified. It's too long and complicated."

Ok. Thanks for your feedback. I've read through it and wonder if you would point out exactly where you think it should be shortened, and what should be deleted. A quick draft from you would be helpful.

"I don't have time for that. I just think it should be one page.
If you say a word more, I shall have you thumped for your insolence. How dare you talk back at me!"
____________________________________________

Talent: I wonder if you had any idea how to make the show
more interesting?
Manager:I think it could be "less heavy." Make it fun.
Talent: Right. Should we talk about that sometime as there's a structure I must follow? I had several ideas
A week later...
Manager:You're fired. We don't really have the show we want.
__________________________________________________________________

When you work at something, and especially if you're a volunteer, who isn't compensated for your contribution but give your time freely and willingly, the idea is to support one another because you share a cause. But no. Egos are ever-ready to pounce when separation is threatened. Ego loves exclusiveness, loftiness. Ego is holier-than-thou and wants to prove its specialness. Combination, cooperation, cohesiveness, collaboration seems almost too threatening to its survival.

So the minute it's confronted, it goes into protection mode. "How DARE you!" "Who are you to say that to ME??? Dont you know who I am???"

Watch out for your dragons. The shadow side that runs wild and free. When the beasts escape be prepared to be embarrassed. For who would you wish people to see ~ you or your ego?
Funnily the shadow exposes you ~ your dark side speaks so loud that no words can raise you above the murky mists of your inner black box. Only embracing the truth could set you free.
__________________________________________________________________

Why don't bosses have the courtesy and the courage to communicate with us the truth? Why must they soft-pedal and pussy-foot around with our careers? Why do they give us the wrong impression when actually the opposite is true? To avoid confrontation? To cover their backs? To stay popular while they're at their covert operations of shutting you up and shutting you down?

If you stand by your principles... if authenticity and forthrightness is a high value to you, then one can expect to be disillusioned by hypocrisy, feigned loyalty, and double standards. But then the savvy among us would just set as an expectation, the said situations and add this to the cost of "doing business in life." Or shall we speak up?

For far too long, we have been tolerant and docile and submissive. We've turned our face away when our sisters were molested, we've been not-so-innocent bystanders while there was harassment and bullying going on in the workplace. For how long more should we remain silent?

In honour of the spirit in each person, to salute the soul in each other, will you not act for fairness, and justice, and speak up in truth?

International Women's Day

2011-02-24T19:41:00.000-08:00

No matter that my self-esteem is 100% intact... I still get frazzled at people's insensitivity and mindlessness when they comment on my appearance.

What gets to me more than just denting my ego (girls all think we're pretty) is how easily, casually, people pre-judge by outer appearances. We apply labels without thinking what consequence we might cause to those involved.

Looking me up and down, from head to toe, they say, "Big lady" or "Oversized" or "Well-preserved." As if they have any right to comment, taking note of their own attributes ~ which are always sadly lacking! So disappointing. If I must be looked over, at least let it be by a hunk. Ah well, consolation is I am never overlooked.

Like they say: Always easy to see the splinter in someone else's eye or find fault in others. Harder to notice the log in your own.

The point being? I'm making a case for women. Women everywhere are always putting ourselves down, ever-ready to believe we are less than... men. It seems we've been raised, nurtured, cultured to be No2, subservient, agreeable. Even when it doesn't serve us.

The comments that I mentioned? All from men. It seems men have carte blanche ~ they can comment on how we look, look at us as if we were things they could rate on their terms. Well, the good news is... not anymore. Not if we put a stop to it. Not if we take our power back.

Women aren't just about how we look and what we have. We are about who we are. And who we are is often much bigger, better, grander, stronger, more magnificent then our male counterparts.

True. All true. If only we'd remember where we came from, who we are and what we're made of.
This March I dedicate all my effort and energy towards raising awareness for women and our sacrifices. The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.

Real Leadership or Dictatorship?

2011-02-24T19:40:00.000-08:00

Another word for politics is self - preservation. Or self - interest.
This weekend I was not only observer to a crash course of this, but I was at the centre of it!

I had joined as a member of a coaching community, only they had failed to inform me that I could never lead it because I didn't come from the same training school they were from. In other words, I was a member without "teeth;" someone with my voice taken away from me, a player who had had her mind paralyzed, unless my thoughts echoed their thoughts.

Mmmm... membership without privileges.
"Oh please stay. We want you with us. You are special." Yeah Yeah. If I stayed, would that make everyone else special too, or just me? What did "special" mean anyway?

Whoa! This was getting wierd. Step back. Step back and think about what's being done here.
Let me see... There's discrimination against other schools of training, other schools of thought. There's protectionism; they're wedging separation, exclusivity between themselves and others. There's labeling: Us = OK. You = Not OK.
Oh but come and play with us, they insist.

I remember someone saying: If you are not with us, you are against us. Wonder who said that and what the aftermath was.

Control is born of... fear. When one is in that type of environment one immediately feels stuck, limited, tense, rigid, tied down. Why do leaders impose control? Fear... of truth, of people being equal and empowered and enabled. What's wrong with that? Back to square one. Self - interest. Self - preservation.

Ahhh... but for how long can a man control another man? How well can you keep someone in chains before something happens that will cause the chains to break and he to breakaway?
For the natural "chain" of events must lead to self-direction, control of one's personal choices, and freedom of expression.

No fear on my part. No need to struggle. Spirit will take care of life.

Is Egypt a "tipping point," or a "now what?"

2011-02-15T17:06:00.000-08:00

All transformation begins when we begin to see our life and experiences through new eyes.

I call it conscious incompetence. Suddenly we wake up and know that the old is no longer acceptable. Suddenly whatever was, is no longer workable. When this realization happens, we are no longer the same. We have changed. We have grown. We have outgrown obsolete and outdated ways of being, social structures, social orders. Then things become uncomfortable. Because we seek a new model within which to operate.

What brings on this new awareness? What presents to us the opportunity to look again? To review, to readjust? Some occasions force us to wake up and pay attention. Like crisis. Like rebellion. Like uprising. Like Egypt, Yemen, Syria.

So the world has been made to take notice. Those in power have been forced to step down. Power has shifted from the minorities at the top to the majorities below. More and more it's people power.

How do I know? Look at what's happening with international business, food, and commodity prices. With this global food shortage, who are the ones with the weapons? The ones who produce the food of course! The farmers, the miners, the workers of business, not the businesses themselves... hold the key to quell the world's hunger --- hunger for consumerism (wants), hunger for sustenance (needs) hunger for growth (desires)

If the ridge between the rich and the poor grows wider, who could potentially suffer most? If the US doesn't do something about its illiterate, hardcore poor, immigration policy, what do you think could happen to upset our hierarchy of needs? No one would end up having their safety, security, social, self-esteem, self-actualization needs met because there would be too much chaos for social order and justice systems to survive and thrive.

If India and China don't address the same issue, the same thing could happen to them. And the ripple effect would soon be felt not only across borders but affect future generations.

So I vote we all wake up now and pay attention. Pay close attention to what people are saying and how they are saying it. And sharpen our listening skills.

That means we must work to get ego out of the way

Energy is Contagious

2011-02-12T19:36:00.000-08:00

Ever been invited to a ball and there was a mix-up with your seats? You stand there thinking, "How can I shrink enough so people don't see me looking like an idiot." Or been to a party and things didn't feel right... the hosts... you... somehow you didn't feel welcome.

What stuff do these feelings resonate with in us, that we begin to have thoughts of pain and insecurity? What needs of ours aren't being met when these situations occur?

That we want to feel significant, that we want to be noticed, and to belong is every human being's basic need. Without this we feel unsafe, unwanted, incomplete, inadequate. Without this we are almost in pain.

So what's the point? The point is what our intentions are. The point is how we want people to feel in our presence. Do we intend to make life a party? Or are we intent on dishing out pain?

The biggest shots and best among us are at fault. Have you noticed politicians who can't look you in the eye when they shake your hand. "Gimme your vote, you prick, but I don't really give a rat's ass about you."

Go to a diplomatic function and at the entrance the ushers tell you, "VIPs, turn right. Everyone else go left." Uh... would you kindly define for me the meaning of "VIP" please?
Being a protocol conscious society I understand full well, the titles and references for those with authority. At govt events, it's all pretty standard. But in a hall with clear boundaries... I don't know.

What's the real point? I'm saying think about how you want people to think and feel about you. Every moment you're with others, you're developing your personal brand. You cannot not communicate!

Just observe your breathing around certain people. With some you feel like your back is up. And your breathing becomes quick and shallow around them. With others, you feel totally relaxed. You feel centered. You feel grounded. You feel like yourself.

What is your energy saying about you? About the way you live your life? About the people you're spending time with?

Big question: What type of life do you want?

Sabotage!

2011-02-12T19:20:00.000-08:00

You'd think those who are downright broke would work to protect their jobs at all costs. Right? Nope. It seems not.

I offered a job to someone with 4 kids, a wife, a mortgage, and no work. I thought he meant what he said. He said, "I need this job. Life is hard. My family is struggling." So I did what I thought would work. I offered him a salary that would take the worry of money off the table enough so he could focus on doing a good job.

On the 3rd day he turned up an hour late. By the 5th day, he appeared as though he was going to the beach. Only he was stinky, unshaven, and dull. The work didn't get done. In fact, it was worse than before because now I couldn't get to it because I didn't know where stuff was anymore.

Day 10. He texts me to apologize. "I'm off sick," he says. So I tell him, "No need to report back tomorrow, buddy." I'm thinking... go back to whatever it was you came from. Go knock yourself out. Be the person you were meant to be. Hey, don't let me interrupt that!

Sometimes the preachers are mistaken. Sometimes we just can't profile people by generalizing. We may think that's what they need and give it to them. We may even want the best for them --- even more than they want it for themselves. But we forget to consider whatever is working for them in their trough of seeming discontent. There's some kind of secondary gain from being a bum. Something about being unemployed with 5 dependents and bills to pay is making sense to them at some level.

What? Are they illiterate? Schizophrenic? Delusional? Certainly not dumb by any means, that much I know.

As I detach from my association with this person, I send off a prayer in his direction. If not for him, then for the 5 souls who look to him as the head of the household. Peace be with you, my brothers and sisters. That you may know it someday.

Keep It Simple Stupid!

2011-02-06T04:20:00.000-08:00

Here's the challenge. To write and speak and give insight --- to take it to the next level and keep it simple at the same time. What's involved is this. [1] Keep the integrity of my message. Write from how I think. [2] Pace your audience. Remember where they're coming from. [3] Fit my message with them.

I keep getting feedback from bosses, leaders, directors --- "Keep it simple," they say. "People don't care to think. They want to be cheered up --- from their daily grind. They don't want more work, they want to unwind."

Unfortunately, if there are problems to solve, it doesn't happen at the same place where the problem was formed in the first place. Einstein said, "You can't solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it."

I'm not sure all people are made of sugar. Would they melt under some heat? I'd prefer to think we're more resilient than that. My main job is to support them in creating their vision. And every good man knows how to turn that vision into reality.
Can you?

But if we're of the opinion that people will crack under pressure; if we keep underestimating them, their level of understanding, ability to adapt, their passion, and burning desire to improve themselves and their situations, then let everything we do and say be easy.
As easy as a walk in the park.

When stuff is easy and there's as much challenge involved as there is in licking stamps, then where would we be? What does that make us? Where does this take us?

Inherent in all of us is our drive for personal excellence. Take away the need for food, shelter, safety, love and belonging... When we have all these, what then? What fulfills us?
The drive to excel, to be significant, to contribute to something bigger than ourselves.

If we stay on the soft and safe path, if we never leave our comfort zones, if we don't ever feel the stretch, then there's a chance we might say to ourselves, at the dusk of our lives, "What if my whole life was wrong? What if there was stuff I could have done, and I didn't?"

The moral of the story is, there's got to be meaning. Stuff has got to mean enough for us to get up and work up a sweat about. Then we'd feel complete. Then we'd be truly living. Then we'd know fulfillment.

Speaker Presenter Coach & Mentor

2011-02-05T15:36:00.000-08:00

This is me presenting at various events in 2010

Public speaking is uncomfortable for me. I've had to learn it and even now I am lacking confidence about it. What gets me up there is my passion for sharing my story --- knowing that my experience will help many others overcome their lack of confidence. And so I get up there and make an effort to show that anything is possible.

"Stop making it about you," I say to myself. Never mind the critics. Keep focus on your intentions.

And my intention is not to receive public approval, gather fans, or win a popularity contest.
My intention is to share the magic and miracle of Neuro - Semantic psychology and how staying in control of our attitudes, and the way we look at things, will change the quality of our lives.

There are many events lined up for me in 2011. Although I am concerned that I might not be as good as my trainers, coaches, and mentors, I know that all I need to be is my best. And I will give my all to be at my very best. This is my commitment --- to myself, and my work to inspire the courage, confidence, and freedom so that we live our best life.

A Directive To Live A New Life

2011-02-01T02:36:00.000-08:00

How should we interpret the recent spate of global crises? Not even crises; just occurrences.

Whether we like it or not, we live in an "entanglement" economy --- where one nation's prosperity is inter - connected to another nation's performance. The theme, agree or not, must be "prosper thy neighbor." Or all may perish.

With the US and Europe in financial turmoil, India and China (and other emerging markets) are on the rise --- from overtaking the US and Japan as the world's largest exporters, the world's largest consumers; and the rest of the world have no choice but to sit up and pay attention. What else can we do? Drop out of orbit?

Corruption, commercial breach of trust, nuclear and biological warfare, ecological disasters swirling all around us... what will you and I do about that if the intention is evolution?

I see this as an opportunity for readjustment, for balancing the karmic scales. Western civilization is proving to be obsolete in its approach towards evolution; its practices catastrophic by result - through misuse of power --- eroding the people's trust and confidence. What have Hank Poulsen, Bernanke, Tim Geithner, Alan Greenspan achieved so far, if not to add insult to injury?

Now is the time we have to re-examine and work through our social, economic, political, cultural, and religious structures --- for transformation. We want to create new "spirit" and build up a new society based on new foundations of human thinking and doing.

But first we must be free of our tribal traditions; lose the ego-mind, and come back to our senses.

What are we fighting for? Do we want intellectual, military power? Something to crusade against? Do we need another industrial revolution? Where one culture's strength rises above others and domination occurs? How do we get to achievement, progress, morality, citizenship, and ultimately --- freedom? By passing more laws?

After all this, how much more do we know? This depends on how we see. How we see goes to form our attitudes and our attitudes go to shape our behavior.

What is our identity? Is it that of a harmonious, collective, cohesive society or clusters of tribes led by warlords? They say the leadership of any society is the community's manifestation of its aspirations.

Let's see. If this is so, then we are the movers and shakers, the shape-shifters of our time. We will create our destiny. Dynamic or destructive. Creative or conniving.

We can choose "quantum leap" or humanity's catastrophe.

I opt for life. What about you?

Transformation is about Vision

2011-02-01T01:32:00.000-08:00

Transformation is, but a shift in perception. It is being able to see something through new eyes.
Sometimes you can see the shift coming; sometimes it happens within seconds -- like a tsunami.
Not prepared, it can claim lives.
The trick is to be alert and stay ready. As ready as possible.

Here's the scary truth. Our vision --- what we can see at any given moment --- is limited by our interpretations. The moment we assign meanings to events in our lives -- is the moment we limit our view of reality. So we gotta manage our meanings.

What do some of the recent happenings mean? There's been natural catastrophes --- the flooding in Queensland, Brazil, and China. Earthquakes in Chile, Haiti, Indonesia. Draught in Russia. Heatwaves in India. Volcanic ash in Iceland and all over Europe. Snow in London --- in fact the coldest weather in 20 years!

There's political chaos in Egypt, Tunisia, and the Ivory Coast in Africa. Soon to be general elections in Malaysia

There's been the sub-prime crisis, the "Bernie Madoff embarrassment" --- which brought on the financial crash on a global scale and is forcing the restructuring of the markets. Mega economies such as the EU and the US are in shambles and still picking up the pieces. How is this all possible, even fathomable? With bigwigs the likes of Alan Greenspan, Hank Paulson, Bernanke, Tim Geithner --- those brainy billionaire bankers at the helm???

Is greed good? Are we being punished for apportioning the wrong meanings? What's the lesson to learn here? Is this a directive from the universe to live a different type of life? If so, what type?

China, America, Japan & Malaysia_World Economics

2011-01-29T18:38:00.000-08:00

When China (the world's largest producer) curbed supplies of rare earth minerals to Japan (the world's largest user) the price of rare earth increased 7x. That was June 2010. China controls 97% of the world's rare earth elements production.

Without rare earth we would not be able to produce iPods, iPads, tinted glass, goggles, medical equipment, laser beams, missile defense systems, weapons --- the list is endless. You can do without gold, but rare earth has no substitute.

China is now holding 970Billion worth of US treasuries (debt). Tim Geithner US Treasury Secretary is now in Davos campaigning so that countries will keep on buying and will not liquidate US Treasuries. Ouch, wouldn't like to be in his shoes.

This week Standard & Poor, the US rating agency downgraded Japan's sovereign rating to AA- (the 4th highest level). Japan has faced economic recession for the past 2 decades. The paradox is that the Americans themselves have a budget deficit of 2-over trillion dollars and yet America has a triple A credit rating! Go figure!

The theme of our discussion is economic strength. China has it.
Nowadays I don't know about America. I'm sure they know how to take care of themselves. What about Malaysia?

The key factors driving global economic progress today are rare earth elements, commodities, food, and oil and gas. This is a fact.

Malaysian commodities are doing well what with the price of rubber products and palm oil increasing. For how long?

Oil and Gas has been big for Malaysia, with Petronas and all. But our supplies are running low. And because the world now wants clean energy ,what we actually need to produce is natural gas.

So how do we get natural gas? From coal-bed methane, sandstones, methane hydrates, and shale. The technology involved with drilling shale is horizontal drilling and hydraulic fracturing.

Using this technology, and according to the (US Energy Information Administration) EIA Annual Energy Outlook 2011, the US has 2.552 trillion cubic feet of potential natural gas resources. From this 828 trillion cubic feet is natural gas from shale resources and this amount of shale gas can last the US for 110 years.

Where is Malaysia on this score? What do we do about all that???

Oil field services sector is slated for phenomenal growth because these companies are needed for expertise in drilling for shale gas. Who are the top such companies? Schlumberger, Halliburton. Both from the US of A.

Why do I care about this? Call it national pride. I want to be proud to be Malaysian.

Malaysia's Economic Transformation Program or ETP

2011-01-29T18:15:00.000-08:00

Malaysia Investment Development Authority or MIDA will organize INVEST MALAYSIA on April 13 - 14. This is set to be a biggie. Every year at an event like this, the PM announces something phenomenal.

Last year PM Najib launched the NEM (New Economic Model) where he expounded how Malaysia is to become a high income economy as opposed to it being a just low-cost manufacturing hub. That's where perception currently sits and as PM cum Finance Minister, Najib aims not only to change, but transform.

Malaysia will also host the FORBES CEO Global Conference Sept 12 - 14. Here Team Malaysia led by MIDA and Bursa Malaysia is set to review the deliverables - results from implementation of the ETP.

All this very important for the ruling govt in terms of credibility. Last year 30 Mar 2010 PM Najib launched NEM and spoke about Malaysia competing globally in the financial markets. It was then that Goldman Sachs was invited to set up shop in Malaysia and a host of other liberalizations announced. Talent Corp, Innovation Centres --- all strategies to grow and sustain.

Then what? So what?
So that... the public feel confident, FDI keeps growing, the people's needs, wants, and desires are responded to. Our need for safety and security --- physical safety (there is law and order and justice), psychological safety (knowing our voices will be heard and human rights protected), financial and economic security --- that will last not just for our time but for our children and their children.

Yes, so all eyes on Najib, his govt, and ETP deliverables. It's a big idea. Definitely an idea worth supporting. It means jobs, it means quality of life, it means peace

Book Yourself Solid

2011-01-22T18:07:00.000-08:00

Why do many talented people fail to succeed?
Because while they may be expert and skilled, they have not balanced this know-how with
other determining factors for success, namely how to drive their business; how to build that singularity between passion, performance, potential and profit.

Book Yourself Solid is a workshop that will help you create strategies for growth
by addressing the need for networking, sales, marketing, branding and promotions,
in terms of increasing top-of-mind recall for what you do, increasing your suitability as a collaborative partner and keeping you booked solid as a self - employed professional.

Say you have a miracle cure for something. And because your product is intangible,
you find it difficult to communicate it's value and benefits to your prospects. Let's call the product "self - actualization." Other descriptions include "personal mastery," "laser-beam focus,"
and "peak experiences." What do you do? You talk to as many people as you can.

You talk enthusiastically till you're blue in the face. Fine. Only trouble with that is, you're on a time-line. While you talk, you have bills to pay. While you keep up with your material, working to improve and raise your competency, your energy is waning --- why, because you aren't drawing in enough participants into your trainings or clients into your coaching programs.

The easiest to think would be, "what's wrong with me?"

Funny thing about people is, they are all about themselves. They make decisions based on what they want and how urgently they think they need them. Oftentimes it's not about us at all but so often we fail to persist, we give up because we confuse "them and us." And remember, the only thing we have control over is ourselves.

So step 1: Manage your Self.
There's a whole psychology attached to this but this is not the focus of my presentation

Step 2: Branding, Marketing, Selling, Promoting, Networking is the conventional way to spread one's message. Unless something else is invented on the planet that serves the purpose, it's good that we pay attention to its principles.

I know of those who are dead against this --- like lawyers and other professionals who believe that marketing is tacky. Here's the thing. Marketing is simply about differentiating yourself and what you do from what others do. One doesn't have to feel cheap doing this.

My MO is: Never be afraid of the truth. So if it's true, why not tell it? Tell people all the ways you are good --- and different. Teach them how to see and feel as you do. Share with them the value and benefits you can bring to them. Show them how to be discerning while making their choices.
Why make it about you? It's about your public. It's about your client. Coaching is a helping profession, so help.

Networking is all the buzz nowadays. Social networking even more. Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn. I barely know what's what. But hey. Pick up the lingo. Go with the flow. Connect and conquer. Connect and convert.

What's stopping you? Are you afraid of rejection? I'd rather think we're afraid of success. Wait till we hit it big. And we will, no doubt, because our product is superior in every way.

For more on my presentation, you'll just have to come to Colorado this July
The 1st ever International Neuro-Semantics Conference in the world

Malaysia - Australia Business

2011-01-22T17:57:00.000-08:00

Larry Gould is the guy on my left and Michael Halpin is the fellow on my right.

Larry leads bilateral trade, investment and good relations between Malaysia - Australia from Aussie-land and Michael (who is British) leads
out from Malaysia.

My portfolio in the whole game is Media, Communications & PR. This photo was taken at a press interview about what our business council actually does and what outcomes we hope to achieve by the end of 2011.

PM Najib is expected to travel to Australia this March and the Malaysia-Australia Business Council will organize a trade and investment conference in conjunction with his trip. MABC will lead a trade delegation and conduct social and business matching activities for both parties.

Not only to promote business links but MABC plays the role of mediator, facilitator, and advocate between business, industry, and govt. In an ever increasingly competitive global market situation, every little bit of help becomes important. That little bit of "edge" and leverage can put you head and shoulders way ahead of others.

It's all about being our best, isn't it? That's what's important about life.
In the end, it's all about what you will be remembered for.

1st ever Neuro-Semantic Conference this July in Colorado

2011-01-22T16:53:00.000-08:00

For the first time --- since Dr Michael Hall began developing the psychology of Neuro-semantics and self-actualization, now... his followers and NS practitioners totaling approximately 10 000 worldwide, are set to gather at the founding place - where Hall's work began.

This July 1 -3, in Grand Junction Colorado, 22 Neuro-semantic trainers, leaders, and Meta-Coaches will be presenting to the theme of: Actualizing Excellence.

The conference will have 3 tracks --- [1] Business [2] Personal Development [3] Coaching. It all boils down to [1] Skills and Competency development [2] Self Mastery [3] Business sense.
Neuro-semantic coaches and trainers are ranked highest in the world in terms of all three, thus making us the most sought-after, highly paid, most illustrious performers in our category anywhere in the world.

Michael Hall PhD, the founding father of Neuro-semantics holds incredibly high values around the development of what he calls the "community" of Neuro-semanticists. Camaraderie, professionalism, cooperation --- are hallmarks of the International Society of Neuro-Semantics.

Neuro-Semantics trainers and coaches today work at actualizing excellence in the fields of sports, business and entrepreneurship, leadership, human resource and organizational development, entertainment, negotiation and facilitation.

Neuro-semantics trainers and coaches are in the business of managing change and producing peak performance, facilitating through transitions, strengthening identity, and developing talent and competence.

Is your life made up of peak experiences?
Are you living your best life?

If not, it's time to find out more about neuro-semantics and the psychology of self-actualization
Go to www.self-actualizing.org

Success and Money

2010-10-04T18:51:00.000-07:00

What does it feel like to be successful? What does success mean to you?
When you're it, what do you say to yourself, what do you envision others saying to you?
It's surely something very pleasant... we'd imagine. How many can say they've experienced real tangible and lasting success?

What I know is this. Success is elusive. It doesn't stand still. It's something that needs pursuing and then before you know it, off it goes --- into the hands of the one most deserving. So it doesn't pay to be complacent. From experience, to remain successful, I know one must keep nimble and on one's toes and have one's ears to the ground.

Success is also very personal. If you are successful under someone else's (umbrella) the success isn't really yours and therefore you don't get the same buzz. For it to qualify as your success, you'd need to have created, owned and participated actively. Or you'd know in your gut, it was just pseudo success.

More than a little tinge of envy, doubt, or dissatisfaction would set in and then spoil the whole experience.

So success must come from within, and there's where the best of success would be felt. Then you could really know success for what it truly is - for how that success has changed you from what you were before it, to what you are today.

To your success!

Selling Intangibles like Creativity and Innovation

2010-10-03T07:41:00.000-07:00

I listened to the CEO of Matrade (the Malaysia Trade Promotion Council) a corporation of the Ministry of International Trade & Industry, as he spoke about selling our country's design services and innovation. Not an easy task, I gathered.

The main outcome is to promote Malaysia as a hub for business creation and innovation, not just a halfway house offering cheap labor and posing as an assembly plant where basic components come together and get shipped out plus or minus the "Made in Malaysia" stamp.

Issues:
#1
How to place value on creativity; and how to recognize those who create as builders and key contributors to the economy
#2
How to benchmark our creativity with the rest of the world's
#3
How to measure and define the various forms of creativity and their part in contributing to our economy - design, business innovation, infrastructure, thought and approach - to keep up with our trade obligations as well as the advanced methods of high income economies

To my mind Malaysia's approach to success must be holistic. It must start from the very top and cascade down to involve and include all types and all levels of society - not just our education system but the developers of thinking processes, not just architects and designers but also consumers of these.

To start is to go back to basics - we are built for improvement. So measure --- how much are we improving, based upon what our intentions are, guided by what we are capable of, what we have, what we need, how we show the improvements we make, how we handle the improvements we don't make.

Isn't the first step always to begin from where we are --- before we can truly say how far we have gone? Compared of course, to where we need to be?

Good to Great

2010-08-27T21:10:00.000-07:00

When small change adds up to big difference, I call that "transformation." Since my divorce I've been questioning, challenging, and clarifying my sense-of-self. I've wanted to realize and actualize my personal strengths, that's right, who I am on my own. Not as a part of a pair, but as a woman coming into her own. Own what? Own right, own being. Not having, not doing... Just being.
Yes, how strong is that woman.

I notice the amount of change in myself. I no longer recognize the old me. I feel her in me, yes. She was a part of who I was. She is a fragment of my past, she doesn't exist anymore. And then I notice all the change this new me has caused --- all around me things are changing, evolving, transforming. Because of me, things are improving, people are dreaming; more importantly, people are living their dream.

I am a change agent. I am a facilitator of change. I am empowered by my experiences, by those who have taught me, by those who have gone before me. I am strengthened by those who are prepared to share themselves with me. And I pledge to do the same. I will offer my thoughts, my words, my experiences, my actions, my intentions, to those who wish to share in the process of moving from good to great.

For those who wish to gain momentum, speed, clarity, propensity, propulsion, use me. Come and join me. Support the cause to facilitate the evolution of humanity --- from good to great.

Standing on the Shoulders of Giants_Dato L Krishnan

2010-08-18T08:37:00.000-07:00

Dato L Krishnan is Malaysia's first movie producer. He created cinema culture here in the 1960s.
In the flesh he is mild mannered, humble, kind, and generous. Big - hearted is how I'd describe this man, who is an icon of selflessness and contribution to society.

Krish as I fondly call him, has taught me many invaluable lessons. The main one is non-judgement. The second, acceptance. The third, tolerance. The fourth, humility. Fifth, truthfulness. Sixth, righteousness. Seventh, dedication... The list is never ending.

I say all who stand before this great soul are like chalk. There is simply no comparison between chalk and cheese, is there?

Selfless giving marks Dato Krishnan's birthday every year when he hosts hundreds of orphans and less fortunate children to a day out complete with goodies and gifts.

When my life is past, I want to be a fraction of what this man is. Loved by all, revered by the leaders, and followed by the masses. Dato Krish is a beacon of light to the world. His fiery heart and willing hands have led me, guided me, smacked me, and protected me --- I love him dearly as a father, guru, and a friend.

Krish, you occupy a special place in my heart. No one could ever replace you.

Hell No!

2010-08-15T04:41:00.000-07:00

My anger scares me. I want to always remain calm. I wish I were Gandhi or Mother Theresa but I'm not. I'm just an ordinary person doing her honest best everyday. Some days I do well and other days, I'm awful.

I've thought a lot about what triggers my anger - what happens that makes me access the emotion of... It usually begins with irritation, then frustration, before it escalates and turns into anger, and if not controlled just then, full - blown rage. When that happens, I'm horrified at myself. It's as if some "thing" possesses me and I lose control.

Excuse? I've spent hours and days analyzing. What I've come up with is this. My anger is driven by my sense of fairness. My sense of law and order in the world, in the justice systems, my principles, sense of ethics and morality, my values - authenticity, honesty, contribution... these are the main drivers. Oh and faith in the human race. We are so much better than this, so why why why?

How could I standby and watch without participating - when the weak, timid, poor, and less educated are blatantly bullied or taken advantage of? Would you have me turn the other cheek when power and authority renders the helpless more helpless? We are not just statistics.

I especially balk when "fake" people connive to fool you into believing they are your friends and then stab you in the back or muddy your name. To me, these are the cowards who cannot stand up and fight fair and square. So their attack is covert, cunning, devious, treacherous, stealthy, insidious, wicked.

When institutions dictate, when danger threatens people you love, would you rather I stepped aside and minded my own business? Hell No! With every fibre in my being I scream NO NO NO.

You judge me? Anger is ugly. Yes it is. I don't disagree. I'm working everyday to get closer to the path of peace. I will do it. I know I can. But meantime, my anger serves me.

Read the paper lately? Child rape. Incest. Abduction of little girls. Sexual harassment in the workplace. White collar crime. Corruption. Breach of Trust. Slander. Gossip. Talking down. Forcing personal opinion onto others. Denying freedom of choice. Withholding basic human rights. Torturing animals.

You think anger is a bad thing? At least it's honest. You try dealing with the passive agressives. You go figure who's on the covert operations beat. Good luck to you.

Before you condemn an angry person know this. It's all contextual. And at the back of anger is hurt. It hurts me that humans would do such horrendous things to other humans. Animals kill for food. It's us humans who will annihilate the human race. We can watch and do nothing, or we can say, "Stop. Hell NO!"

I can. I will

2010-08-09T23:19:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been in a place where nothing seems to be working? Well, where pretty much everything is a mess? I've just been having one of those times, experiencing one of those places.

How does it feel exactly?
A bit like butterflies in the pit of your stomach that don't want to stop flitting, a bit like mind thinking but without any thought... just bits and pieces of messages, images, emotions floating.

You want to reach out and touch something... anything tangible will do, but uh uh, no. No way will it hold still long enough for you to decipher what it is those bleeping buzzies mean and why they're doing it to you.

That's just it! What are "they" doing to me? What am I assuming about them that makes me unable to overcome? How much do I really have inside of me that let's me think I'm doing to be kept down for long?

Tough talk. But them butterflies sure can make you feel like crap.

So what then? I hold still just long enough to recognize the sensations to say, "I don't like." Exactly now I'm moving right along -- no matter how good, or wounded. I'm thinking, "I'm going to move notwithstanding."

Anything is better than no motion. This stuckness is a product of my consciousness... and so I must move, move upwards, outwards, to occupy a higher consciousness that will lend me some traction, or give me some leverage to lift my spirits... so that I can again think, "I can. I will."

Your Place in The World

2010-08-05T21:08:00.000-07:00

See how small children behave. They have difficulty staying focused. Their eyes dart from here to there and anywhere action or movement distracts them. They could be entertained and chuckling one moment, bawling their eyes out the next.

Notice how animals behave. They use their noses, their eyes, their ears, their tongues -- sniff, sniff! They paw at things, they buzz around. It's my sense they're ever ready to play to the gallery. It's my sense they're not settled into themselves but dependent on their environment -- whether up or down, it's not within their control.

But we are different. So superior. Our thoughts, feelings, and behavior is well within our control. In fact, we have the power to control our environment. Our energy can calm or it could stir. We could be rabble - rousers or we could be peace makers.

To be fully aware and fully present and engaged, drop your awareness from your "outer senses" into your body. Take your consciousness and let it sink right into your heart and lungs. Let your beingness fill your gut. Let this presence fill you so that you have a real sense you "own your space." Feel how centered that makes you? Notice how you stabilize... flushing out the chaos, the uncertainty. Let spirit take you.

Now let your energy shine out. Imagine a beam of light coming from your belly and whoosh! Right out into the world. You... and everything around you becomes enveloped in this light. Whoosh! Like a moonbeam. Heck, like laser beams!

That's your spirit, your energy. That's your passion. That's your power. That's your personality. That's who you really and truly are.

You were meant for greatness. Now go and light up the universe.

To Inspire the Courage Confidence & Freedom To Live Your Best Life

2010-07-23T16:52:00.000-07:00

Recently I wondered. When I do something, is it about me - is it about what I want to achieve, is it about my audience, or is it about something larger than that, something beyond me?

The easy answer, the most obvious projection is, yes it is. After all, I'm the one doing it, aren't I? I'm the one involved. I'm the one motivated. That is, I'm the one with the motive. I'm the one who's driven. Driven to achieve something. And so I take action. Sometimes frighteningly massive action.

But who's actually doing the driving? Often it doesn't feel like it's coming from me. I know I feel it. But it doesn't feel like it's me at all.

Why am I putting myself "out there?" I put my neck on the line - my reputation, my credibility, my energy... all so personal to me... to achieve what? What do I want?

Just like you I want happiness and peace and to live my best life. And I could do that so many other ways. Easier ways. Cheaper ways. There are moments when I think, "you couldn't pay me enough!" But there I am doing it anyway.

It goes back to the highest of human needs - of wanting to be part of something bigger than ourselves. It comes from wanting more... to experience, to express, to enjoy, to enable, to push our personal limits and go where we haven't gone before.

They say necessity is the mother of invention. I think the real mother of invention is our need to be our best selves, to live our best lives. And so we work to create. With our personal excellence, our innate genius, our God-given gifts and talents, skills and capabilities, we constantly work to invent, engineer, and design our lives so that we keep pushing the boundaries of our personal power and potential.

It's as if the gifts we were given were pushing forward... and we keep inventing to silence the drive. "It" pushes as if to say, the only way to happiness and peace and success is to keep inventing.

In the doing is our best life in the making. What are you doing that's not about you?

Standing on the shoulders of giants_Nishita-ji

2010-07-23T09:10:00.001-07:00

This woman cannot make a clumsy movement. She cannot make a face other than one that projects peace. When in her presence everything becomes calmer, as if covered by a cloud of comfort.

Suddenly I feel the size of a pinhead. Everything becomes immaterial. The only thing important is understanding, acceptance, and peace.

Nishita-ji begins to speak to the crowd gathered to listen to her. She begins by saying:

Eternal Father Mother of the Universe. This is as far as I can go. From here I shall await your grace to lift me up to a place that on my own I cannot hope to go.

She closes her eyes for a moment before she opens them to look around the room. She smiles and begins to speak.
All wisdom, all compassion, all strength, all sacrifice.

She speaks for 1 hour then pauses to review her points with us. No notes. No struggle. All smooth. Then she continues speaking for another hour and time flows --- just as she flows. As smooth as silk.

So this is why the Bible says, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Let there be peace on earth. And let it begin with you and me.

Standing on the shoulders of giants_Michelle Duval

2010-07-23T09:03:00.000-07:00

How do you listen so well that you develop the ability to hear what's not being said? I learned this skill from Master Coach Michelle Duval.

Michelle is just in her 30s and known as one of the best coaches in the world. Her ability to get people to take action, and transform their lives for the better is phenomenal and known the world over. She does this simply by bringing your awareness to your present state and then by facilitating the process of what must be done to get to your desired state.

"What is it that you're not saying?" Michelle asked when I finished introducing myself. "I wonder why you didn't make reference to your life before that?"

With her questions I went deeper and deeper within myself. And the understandings came. The realizations happened. And the path was paved for new beginnings.

To the degree we are dishonest with others and especially with ourselves, to that level we are unable to live with courage, confidence, and freedom. Courage comes from facing our fears. Confidence comes from doing and perfecting. Freedom comes from choice. Choice is the power to choose our thoughts, feelings, speech, and behavior, no matter what the circumstance. Freedom to respond instead of slavery to other people's point of view, their whims and fancies.

So listen well. Don't be afraid to hear the truth. Especially your own.
I wish you your best life.

Carpe Diem

2010-07-21T04:57:00.000-07:00

It means to seize the day. It means to have the eye for seeing opportunities. Having the mind open and ready and willing... to accept... newness - new styles, new perspectives, new energy, new beginnings. It means having the poise and posture of someone in readiness... to seek, to act, to co-create.

Opposite of this? Passivity. Lethargy. Fixed-ness. Closed-ness. No room for maneuvering anything. No vantage to check perspective. No wish for change. No will for movement.

Therefore no momentum, no dynamism. Monotone.

It begins with the intention to want more - life, experience, expression. It requires that these mean enough for you to check your platform. They say luck is when readiness meets opportunity. How ready are you to seize the day?

The Step Back Skill

2010-07-19T01:51:00.000-07:00

Today on Lite FM 105.7 we discussed one of the most fundamental Neuro - Semantic skills - the step back skill. The basis of which is human beings have this amazing ability to think about our thoughts, reflect upon our feelings, review and analyze our actions. The process is virtual and never ending.

Every time we ask, "What was that about?" or "Wonder what I was thinking?" or "Assuming they will do that, let's see how we could..." we are stepping back. And when we do, we gain perspective. We buy ourselves time-space to respond in ways that benefit us and are to our best advantage.
Flip side? We charge in like a bull in a China shop. Whatever comes, comes. Wanna risk it?

Do you know we could also get other people to step back? We do this when we facilitate their sense of awareness about something, when we get them to consider other options, when we ask them to think about what the consequences may be, given their speech and actions.

How powerful is that! It's an amazing experience being a Neuro-Semantic coach.

I'm a Hypnotist!

2010-07-19T01:36:00.000-07:00

See picture of me and Cal Banyan. Cal is my hypnosis teacher. He could "put you out" within 5 seconds! Cal is a Master Hypnotist.

When I told friends I was a hypnotist I said, "Don't close your eyes. I won't put you into a deep deep trance where suddenly you begin feeling extremely comfortable and relaxed and you want to tell me what you feel. That's right. You just want to feel relaxed because it makes you feel good. Naturally.

Get comfortable. Get relaxed. You will go only because you want to go... relaxed and comfortable and feel so good... because you know, don't you, that life can be stressful. And feeling relaxed is such a treat, isn't it? So when I say, "Don't close your eyes, don't sink into your chair," you agree and you nod your head to say you feel alright. And it feels good to feel right...

About Genius n Stuff

2010-07-16T09:41:00.000-07:00

The man at the top is Dr Michael Hall. "The" man amongst the many is Dr Michael Hall.
He's the man who taught me everything I know about Neuro - Semantics and Self - Actualization. He's my guru. The rest of us "others" are all students compared to Michael. Michael is the master.

Michael is the master in so many ways. He wrote every book on Neuro-Semantics there is that's worth reading. I've read them (all 40 of them) and I still don't know everything. He's streets ahead of the best in the world. Man, he developed this stuff off the best in the business. And he's still breaking limits.

Nuff praise. Now truth.
He lives his stuff. This man is congruent. He walks his talk. He practices what he preaches.
He lives from the inside out. Probably why he has a massive following in 100 countries.
It's no shit that we all make a better living by practicing what Michael teaches us.

This man taught me about integrity.
And I hold myself to higher standards because I want to belong in the "upper echelons" of power. Personal power, that is. I want to be a member of Michael's Institute of Neuro-Semantics - a member in good standing - no less.

Michael says, "Genius... we all have it. What do you do that when you do it, time goes away, the world stands still and in those moments you're so sharply focused, present, engaged... life seems to flow with ease and joyful bliss?"

For more Michael go to www.self-actualizing.org or www.neurosemantics.com

Fit to Fly

2010-07-16T09:17:00.000-07:00

Check out the bod on this bloke.
He happens to be my personal trainer.
See the image of us warming up by my poolside.

Before you go ga-ga, think.
What kind of training gives a guy this kind of trim. What state of mind produces this state of physique. Yeah. Now you think, "gawd how much pain."

Not unless you enjoy it. (He actually likes working out)

So I thought I was big on mind over matter. I thought I had self - control in my pocket.
When your knees are about to buckle and you're one breath short of suffocating, when your body wants to scream, "Please... Enough!" QunLing says, "Gimme 50 more."

Straight face. No pity.
What I see I'll describe as constructive ruthlessness. Get off your butt iron-fistedness. Or else. And I break my old limits every time. How? In terms of endurance. More strength. Certainly more self - satisfaction. Unless of course I keel over like a pathetic mass of protoplasm (which I have done by the way)

QunLing: So tomorrow 8am? See you. And off he goes.
Bathing in sweat, I wipe down. I know I'd be ready and waiting.

5-Star claim but sub - standard service

2010-07-09T22:13:00.000-07:00

Malaysia is termed a "developing" nation. According to some criteria, we haven't quite yet arrived at fully - developed nation status. Then there are the advanced economies - those that design lifestyles, trends, and culture the world follows. The G-8, for example. Okay so the better gauge of power and control now is the G-20. But superpowers have ways to stay on top.

So what's this about "developing" and all? For one, we have a low per capita income. Then our facilities aren't at the leading edge of sophistication. Like our public loos and public transport systems. The most important factor I'd say, is the attitude. Just like you can take a horse to water but you cannot make him drink, we can drive people to live in cities but you can't take the "kampung" out of them. Kampung => rural. Rural as in backward.

I was recently at a 5-star hotel. 5-star joints promote their 5-star food, their 5-star service, and of course, charge their 5-star prices. Throughout my experience, I felt disappointed --- I could barely see the food on my plate the portions were so small, and the staff could barely understand what I wanted. Nevertheless, the bill was disproportionate to the serving size.

I wonder what my countrymen are about sometimes. Okay maybe we were in a continental restaurant, perhaps I should've gotten a translator to read my menu, I could've grilled the chef about his cooking style --- but at best, it was what I'd label "pseudo" cuisine. The food was pretending to be French, the restaurant was pretending to be continental, the bill was certainly no reflection of the 5-star quality the place brazenly touted.

Now certain hotels aggressively promote their "elite" member status. Black card. Gold card. Platinum card etc. Except that when you present your plastic, they look at you ruefully and say, "I'm afraid what you've ordered doesn't fall in that category --- it's already on the specials." Or the classic one is, "Not on special occasions like today." And your guests look at you as if you're some kind of cheap skate.

Oh no I'm not falling into this booby trap. I'm a member so give me my privileges. Have I bought you a right to intimidate me, embarrass me, or out-smart me? No way! Not me. I'm all for fair is fair.

If what you see isn't what you get, then ask. Ask till you get an answer you're satisfied with. Or ask the nearest consumer association to intervene. Make sure consumerism doesn't make a fool out of you. Make sure you get value for your money. What's wrong with that?

Should we be embarrassed to get our money or money's worth?
I think the cheapo - s are the ones who aim to cheat.

Australia, Julia for PM, Innovation & Industry

2010-06-30T06:43:00.000-07:00

Pic 1
Pic 2

Pic 3

The Hon Kim Carr, Australian Minister for Innovation, Science, Industry & Research (Pic 1: Carr on my right, Zain = Chairman of MABC) came on an official visit to Malaysia last month. The Malaysia - Australia Business Council MABC, for which I am Chair of Communications & PR, hosted a dinner in his honor.

Pic 2: Businessmen at my table
Pic 3: Chairman of the Federation of Malaysian Manufacturers, an old friend

Then all of a sudden, Australia becomes Rudd -er-less and in comes Julia Gillard. 1st lady PM and all. Mining tax yes, but never imagined they were shuffling quicksand!

Ah well. Goes to show today's newspaper wraps fish in tomorrow's market. Moral of the story: Embrace uncertainty. Stay simple, keep humble. As they say, "The best laid plans of mice and men..."

I made it through the rain

2010-06-30T03:38:00.000-07:00

People always ask, "Where do you get all this enthusiasm from?
Your energy is scary!"

What would they have me do, I think to myself. I suppose they expect me to be all gloomy and broken, considering all the stuff I've had to deal with in my life.

"Are you happier now?" some ask, peering earnestly into my eyes.
"You look good," is another (begrudging) comment, after sweeping me from head to toe with their eyes.

The average Joe is contented. He may not be brilliant, but he's good. And Jane Doe? That depends. If she's young, she probably fares better than her older sisters. But none seem to have my kind of vitality, my zest for life.

What drives me:
[1] I aim for joy. I want pleasure not pain. This pretty much puts things in perspective and sets
the pace for what to do.
[2] I've adopted happiness as my companion. I don't leave home without it.
[3] I constantly refresh my vision of my best life. I "see" what I'm after all the time, and this
keeps me on course. Then it becomes easy to say "yes" to what I want, and "no" to what I
don't want.
[4] I keep checking, "Do I have what I need? What is my heart's desire? What do I want, that if
I had, would propel me to the next level? Doing this keeps me pro - active and powerful; it
allows me to strategize and plan, rather than wait and cope.
[5] I let go and let God. I surrender to that power which keeps the cosmos in rhythm. I
surrender to the intelligence of that one song --- the universe --- and I know I cannot fail.

Come rain or shine, hurricane or hailstorm, I shall prevail.

What makes a flower grow?

2010-06-28T08:13:00.000-07:00

It's the end of June. We're 6 months into the year. Whoof! Time went --- just like that!

So it is time for me to reflect and review my life in all aspects. My career and profession, my intellectual development, time to take stock of my relationships, partnerships and collaborations, review my financial position, check my emotional balance, my spiritual expansion, health and fitness etc.

Some areas good. Check. Some areas trailing behind. Others are in need of some real "kick in the butt" revamp. What happens then is --- stress. "Oh dear, how will I get all that reorganized in this short time? It'll soon be July, then August...

Meantime I must deliver this, do that, and close that deal."
More anxiety.

Suddenly I remember the book I picked up last weekend. Title: What makes a flower grow. Beautiful flower on the cover; I turn the page thinking I'd read about soil, fertilizer, greenhouse, water... but no.

The question is posed again, this time a little child is looking up at her daddy. In all innocence, she asks, "Daddy what makes a flower grow?" "The same power that makes a baby, that gives you the life you have; the same Intelligence that lets you breathe the same time you sleep, and grow, and dream."

And then I say to myself, let me get out of my own way. Let me surrender to that Maestro whose orchestra plays so the cosmos can dance and the birds can sing. Let me allow That which is greater than me to manage my destiny. Let me trust in that power that makes a flower grow.

If you can't commit, quit!

2010-06-24T06:16:00.000-07:00

The topic makes something sound wrong, doesn't it? And that could be my perception!

What do you do when someone comes across as wanting something so badly but isn't prepared to put in the time or work to get it? What if they want something bad enough but just won't commit?

While all that "not doing" is going on, these folks have it tucked away somewhere that the world owes them. So off they go, whining and complaining how come things aren't "naturally"
falling into place. Blame, whimper. Blame, whine. And so it goes.
It's anybody's fault but theirs.

It gets worse.
When someone else gets the goodies - the promotion, the good word, the pat on the back, just watch these guys go... go sour. Gripe, gripe. Mumble Grumble. Then they do everything in their power to spoil. Passive agressives, some call them. Stick in the mud.

Don't do, so step aside you'd think, right? Nope.
They kick their heels in, fold their arms, pout and stare daggers at anyone who's done a halfway decent job and wants to get moving. But not through them. Not if they can help it.

Heard the phrase, "over my dead body?" Sometimes, these people just need to be put down so they get the message. Step aside buddy. Vacate. Relocate.

Then I really must kneel down and thank my lucky stars how good a life I have. For these poor sods must really be unhappy chappies to have their knickers so twisted up they can't see the fun in life. Life must really taste sour that they need to spout their misery all over the place.

I believe we can only ever give away what we have. And when we have "sour" inside that's what we'd taste to others. What have you got inside that you're giving out each day and everyday?
What taste of yourself do you leave on the tongues of others? Sweet or sour?

What does "SIN" really mean?

2010-06-22T00:36:00.000-07:00

Imagine for a moment, that you know a person who has stored away
everything you want, or need, for your happiness, but refuses to let you
have them unless you do his bidding, ask properly, and behave as he
wants you to.

Furthermore, this person can heal you of disease
but allows you to suffer for now, and MAYBE will consider healing you
at some future date.

Would you consider this a nice person? A friend?

We grow up believing that sin is to disobey, or some form of ingratitude
toward a God who is "far away, and above us" --- in heaven.
Should we violate a commandment, we are punished.
Therefore our God is punitive.

Thus, we hope that this "far away," elusive, punitive God will show compassion
We find ourselves laden with guilt and anxiety over whether we deserve
his mercy at all. We believe our small puny prayers could somehow influence God
--- the Almighty.

How misplaced to think his love is as weak and as conditional as ours.
The idea that God will condemn us is not consistent with a God of forgiveness, is it?

My opinion is all actions and thoughts, which we might call bad, are the result of the error
that is made when we believe that we are separate from God.
It is a mistake of the ego, or the intellect, to believe there is evil for which God must punish us.

So what do we do?
We correct our errors by bringing truth to it. The error is then nullified in truth.
When the mind of man becomes illuminated, it becomes a part of God
This is the solution to our fear of punishment.

Sincere penance does not consist of perpetuating grief for wrongs
but in resolving to avoid in the future those deeds that call for remorse.

LiteFM Radio on Mondays - "Get A Grip" with Tessie Lim

2010-06-15T07:47:00.000-07:00

Dr Michael Hall said, "You must be the only one who coaches the media."

To be honest, I hadn't actually thought about it that way. I guess so... because my weekly column in the Sunday Times, Life&Times section is mostly about coaching for self - actualization. Well, actually it's all about coaching for self - actualization because self - actualization has it's applications --- in leadership, relationships, communication, business and enterprise, health and fitness, financial intelligence and wealth creation etc.

Then I do radio - I had a radio show called, The Office on Business FM 89.9 last year for about 3 months and will do radio again this July on LiteFM Radio. My show is called, Get A Grip with Tessie Lim will be on every Monday between 715 and 9am.

My Value Proposition
On Get A Grip, we would discuss HOW TO ACHIEVE
because Self - Actualization & Personal Excellence must lead to success and achievement
otherwise what for???

All talk, no action = no use!

Many (many) people can talk. They spout information. Ideas. Principles. They talk about WHAT
But they are seldom able to tell you HOW.

Our audience when they listen, will learn HOW. But only after they understand WHY.
Because only when it's important to us to know, only then we take the trouble to know.

So we must give listeners a REASON to tune in.

The reason is because we can

[1] Help them solve problems
[2] Show them a way out of their problems
[3] Understand why it is a problem
[4] Help them design options
[5] Give them courage confidence freedom to say, "I can!"

So... Malaysia, ready or not, here I come.
Deep breath, onward ho and off we go.

Youth is Wasted on the Young

2010-06-13T18:20:00.000-07:00

This is the topic of a debate that I shall be chairing next week.

It's a topic that amuses me AND irks me at the same time. I look at my baby girl --- who is the picture of style and elegance. Marie is 22; angelic innocence permeates her pores... and then I think of myself. "Grow old gracefully" is my response to this generation gap.

The look that I am going for is dignity. And substance. How could I have left "youthful" out? I can't help wondering if I had left out considering something society highly values. What society? Ahh... come on. The media reveres youth and beauty, let's not kid ourselves. Pictures of young people are plastered everywhere selling everything --- from holidays to hypermarkets.

So I can imagine it's going to be pretty intense. Whatever said next week, the debate will continue to go on inside my head. Sure, I've had my youth and it all went so quickly. Does youth have to end? Must youth be confined to time - space or can it go on forever...
As time is but a concept conjured up by man. Time does not really exist "out there." Time is not something one trips over, or put in one's mouth to taste and say, "Yummy" or "Yuk."

What if we went back to the place where time was born --- the mind of man. What if we altered our perception of youth? What if we altered our perception of time? If human cells renew every 6 months and each cell is brand new, why should the new hold on to the old --- information of aging, illness, etc? Why can't our "new minds" inform our body to renew and stay young?

Mind over matter, they say. Everything is the same in the end, isn't it? All Matter = Energy and back again. What drives it all? Pure intention. Hey it's all about what we want!

I can't wait to hear both sides. I'm hoping the arguments will challenge time-tested prejudices and breakthrough new limits in life as we know it.

Perhaps we could be young forever. Wouldn't that be amazing?
And more amazing is that it's all up to us to decide.

How crazy does crazy get?

2010-06-07T20:43:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to fool you. Life isn't always peaches and cream. These past few days have been particularly rotten for me. You think, "Oh I'd know how to handle it," but when it happens, you go down kicking and screaming like the rest.

What could I have done differently? Ahh... isn't hindsight and self - righteous preaching the easiest thing? It's so much easier to criticize than to create.

I want to stay calm. Yes, dignified and well - schooled is how I want to be. Then those idiots push your buttons and "Bam!" you lose it. It's that easy.

How much do you want to be right and how much do you want to be happy? How generous can you be, how forgiving, how giving? Suddenly it makes sense to be blind, deaf, and dumb. Suddenly it's good that you've forgotten how to count. Live and let live. Go with the flow. He ain't heavy, he's my brother. We are faa-mell-lee!

Only it's not tha-aat easy. When the shit hits the fan, it's all you can do to keep from turning into the incredible hulk.

Then you breathe... count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6... breathe and count some more.
Call your name. Count sheep. Say Hail Marys. Do your damn - dest so you slink back into your
soul.

So... I shit you not, my friends and neighbors. I struggle like all of you, perhaps harder than most of you. All I can say to redeem myself in your eyes is that I work really hard to overcome. And when I know I've reached the point where I can no longer go; that point beyond myself; that's when I close my eyes and surrender to that which is greater than myself. I let go, and let God. I ask Spirit to lift me to that higher place, that place I have not the strength nor capacity to reach by my sorry Self. And then I wait. And then it comes. And then, standing on shoulders of giants, I can see forever...

Bring crazy on. I am something bigger than crazy!

We're in the Money!

2010-06-05T03:40:00.000-07:00

Never thought I'd ever be in the money business. The subject, even the mention of the word used to make me uncomfortable. I guess it's because our family never had any. Money was for those who were unscrupulous. For those who sold their souls and did what the devil wanted. Money was not for the pure of heart.

Well at least that's what I believed. Any wonder why I had trouble making some?

Whenever I came into money (any money at all) it seemed the age old adage, "A fool and his money is always parted" rang true. It didn't seem possible for me to hold on to it. I spent it... and quick! Of course the pleasure from money was then short lived.

Now I am a director of Peak Prosperity Consulting, a company set up for the purpose of helping investors make money by understanding the markets and learning about how they work. The work we do helps people make sense of what's going on in the global financial, and socio - economic scenario and then rationalizes how best to invest - according to their aptitude, and with the objective of becoming financially free.

Only too many people jump in driven by all the wrong reasons. They are especially motivated by greed. A lethal combination when added to ignorance and impatience.

Once we make some noise about how things can be done intelligently, slowly, and pro-actively, without losing sight of the goals, we hope to free so many who are leashed to unhealthy relationships - advisers, institutions, and to the stuff of money itself.

My Birthday, My Baby, & Me

2010-06-03T08:14:00.000-07:00

My last birthday was a blast. My baby girl, Marie and I went to this amazing Italian restaurant in Singapore. Old friends I hadn't seen in years came to join us. Even their husbands turned up - which is something big businessmen don't do!
You can imagine I was delighted at their presence... and their presents!

Here's to growing old gracefully. Remembering that family and happiness is what life's all about.

Cheers!

Peak Performance Peak Prosperity

2010-06-03T08:11:00.000-07:00

Infinitus Opulentia or Infinite Opulence is the tagline or battle cry for my new business.
You see, people don't really care what I say or do. What they want is more money. They pay attention if what I do makes them more money, teaches them tools to make more money, or gives them insight on how to make more efficient use of their money.

Tough but true. For the softer among us, we may substitute money with love and sex, admiration, power, and authority.

So this business called Peak Prosperity Consulting Pte Ltd does just that. It teaches people how to make more money from the money they already have. We help people invest - wisely.

Putting all my experience together with that of friends who have all gotten "burnt" in the last few financial debacles - subprime and whatever else they are called, we decided to create a company that makes things safe and simple. In so doing, we take the fear out of the word investing.

While you're making more money, you're also learning how stuff works, which is great because these hoity - toity banks seldom teach you anything!

So there! That's my latest venture and my contribution to your financial freedom.

If I can do it, so can you.

When Leaders Don't Communicate

2010-06-02T23:01:00.000-07:00

The main job of a leader is to create followers.

Why do people follow? People want more - money, admiration, sense of belonging, safety and security. They want to follow those whom they believe could enable them to be more of themselves; ultimately we all want to lead a better life.

The leader must then build a vision so that all could clearly see what his proposals are, and how these would bring about this "better life."

Unfortunately many who call themselves leaders, or whom are called leaders by others - do not know how to execute their task! As if anointed by some higher authority, by the amount of power they wield, the fear they spread - by these criteria, leaders are made. Or should I say, born.

Now there are two types of power. One is power by status and money and authority. The other is the power of the Self. Strip away everything from the first category and see what is left. That is the power I speak of in the second category. This is true power. This is lasting power. This power, the heavens respect.

In this day and age, there are two types of leaders. Command and Control leaders, and Cooperate and Co - Create type of leaders. In the early feudal, tribal days, one could lead by wielding the sword. Now we say, the pen is mightier than the sword.
Now we live in a wisdom economy, not agricultural economy. Now we rely on brains, not brawn.

How powerful can you be among people who are able to outsmart you in a wink? How powerful when set against the backdrop of an interconnected universe, again where civilizations rise and fall in a blink?

The time of honor, respect, dignity, and truth is upon us. And this truth shall set us free.

May you have the courage, confidence, and freedom to live your best life.

When Spirit and I are One

2010-06-02T22:27:00.000-07:00

The subject of my "higher self" had always puzzled me, and for the longest time I looked to read, asked to find out about this... phenomenon.

It was easy enough to forget, as my work required me to be "right here right now" present, engaged, and attentive. "Gimme the low down on this, the real - time statistics on that, get feedback from the grassroots..." were the usual commentary I had to deal with. You can see, very little actually took place at the higher level. Perhaps all the decisions --- but seldom did that involve me.

In the boardroom, stakeholders wanted proof, empirical data, tangible fact. Nobody had time for touchie - feelie extra - sensory perception. That all was saved for the dreamers. Movers and shakers wanted cold hard evidence.

Then how did the topic re - introduce itself? After living "active and reactive," learning that this lifestyle was really nothing short of comical nonsense... (eg. it had all to do with impatience, not patience, intolerance, not tolerance, prejudice, not non - judgment) you can imagine years of feeling unsettled, disassociated, and stuck really needed to find an escape.

Something within me wanted to be unleashed. I wanted out. Uh huh. Out of what, from where, you ask. Who exactly wanted out? I dunno. But this "thing" would not stop bugging.

"It" settled only when my own neediness reduced and my generosity increased. Well, that's long after I began to recognize what was happening and when.

Now I know the higher self is the self that is connected to the best version of you. This "part" of the self is in fact the you that is God. Uh huh. As we are one with the Divine, we are Divine. Because whatever is in the presence of the Divine is enveloped in light. We have no choice but become infused with that which is greater than us.

You mock me? Let me show you how easy it is if you follow these steps

[1] Accept that something greater, higher, more powerful than life exists.
If you don't, you will come to this conclusion anyway. As the Sufi poets say,
"First you say you are a non - believer until you learn that you are God"

[2] Invite Spirit in. To do this, all you do is surrender to the Force. Say,
"I am too weak to manage and so I turn my life over to you who is greater than me"

[3] Wait and Listen. And as soon as you align with both acceptance and invitation,
Spirit comes and lights the fire of your soul. And everything impossible becomes
possible. There is no more fear, only comfort. No more needing, only giving.

And when this is achieved and the self, realized... in union with Spirit, all life becomes a thing of joy, forever.

I invite you into Spirit. Let us become one in the collective consciousness.
There are no boundaries, only infinite possibility

The End of the Affair

2010-05-31T04:46:00.000-07:00

"What is sex in a relationship?" A reader me asked several weeks ago.

"Why, anything you want it to be," I replied. Do you feel he uses you for sex? Or is it something sacred you both share in vulnerability and trust? Are you using him to escape the dreary monotone of life?

Talking of escapades...
Having been married for more than 20 years, in all honesty I say that being married doesn't render one, dead. Therefore one isn't completely protected from being attracted to the one who pays attention and who shares your interests. Suddenly you feel the exhilaration of spending time with someone who you can pour your heart out to. The crescendo of heartbeats that feel for the very same things!

Suddenly you're dreaming of someone other than the man in your bed. You're looking forward to time spent with another whom you think shares your passions, hopes, and dreams, whom you believe understands you better than your husband. At least, he shows more interest.

Mind you, it's all intellectual... so far. Your mind begins to imagine more than that. Yet you don't imagine that he might actually spurn you --- because, well... you're married.

So that's where it ends. You know it could never become anything. And so the friendship lapses. It dies a natural death. You see each other less and less. No less does your heart hope that one day... someday... someday soon...

But no. Then one day, cloud hanging heavy from the internal chaos that has been going on inside your head for all this time, you confess. "You know Joe Blow... well... I had feelings for him. I thought they were strong enough that I might, you know, go off with him. But it came to nought. I wanted you to know..."

The man at the breakfast table, grunts. "You didn't, and that's what matters." He goes on reading his paper. Then he looks up and says, "The sad thing is that you don't realize you have everything right here."

I look at him, thinking I'd find some emotion. Uh uh, none. Straight arrow. Is that empathy right there, I wonder? Is that him feeling what I'm feeling?

And what am I feeling? Like a good thing got away? Not quite. Just that a bit of variety might have been nice.

And what made him respond so generously? Would that be reciprocal understanding for one of his own liaisons? Maybe.

Anyway the affair that wasn't, turned out to be an exploration of what meanings I've given to life and love. Seems that the meanings are many. Just as many as there are facets of me.

The variety is nice.

When people ask for help

2010-05-27T21:51:00.000-07:00

I was contacted by a reader of my column who said she wanted to meet me. She had suffered considerably, cancer it was. And although I do not usually meet people like this, I agreed to see her. Anyway long story short, I found it difficult not to offer support - through my network of friends - easily done, without much trouble at all.

Anyway, the reason I write about this is to reflect on what makes us go out of our way to offer help. Isn't it so much easier to turn away? No one can fault us after all. But when we can easily do something - that costs us no more than what we would pay for a new tee shirt or a nice meal... I wonder what prevents us from doing so? More importantly, what prevents us from asking for help and support when we need it for ourselves, our family, and friends?

We feel embarrassed to ask... I know I do. But from just asking my friends who are doctors, donors, concerned individuals... so many are so prepared to step up. Perhaps we might consider lowering our defenses, sharing our vulnerabilities, getting our ego out of the way. And just share. Just show others what we need. How is that so difficult?

Could it be the law of reciprocity? We feel indebted to the point of feeling we have to return what we are given? Perhaps. But oftentimes, people just want gratitude. People are happy with smiles and the knowing that they have made someone's life better.
At least that's what I'm finding out now through my own assistance with this lovely person.

In learning to help another, I am learning to know myself.